A wild MGTOW appears!

(Trigger warning: misogyny, mention of sexual assault)

Dear Dad,

It’s been a nice long dry spell, but I got another hate comment on my blog. This one was from a MGTOW, or Men Going Their Own Way, but since he used hate speech (calling women “whores”) and didn’t actually respond to the post he commented on (nothing said about Katniss, archery or representation of women in the media), he violated my comment policy and I didn’t approve it. (The comment policy is a pretty handy guideline when it comes to sifting criticism from hate speech.)


However, I want to bring him up, Dad, because he is a good example of some of the violent misogyny that exists in the world. I was familiar with the term MGTOW before he began praising it in his comment because I read We Hunted the Mammoth, a very handy guide to “the new misogyny,” or internet misogyny (This is a good example of MGTOW ideology). MGTOW is a mindset that says men are better off without troublesome women, and all their false rape accusations, child support and alimony. Unfortunately, instead of actually “going their own way” and leaving women be, they show up in inboxes of women like me, ranting about how we can all “burn in Hades” (actual quote).

I bring this up because there was one line in his rant that struck me as very telling and important:

Women have nothing to add to my life but the opportunity to have sex.

He then goes on to rage about false rape accusations and STDs, but I went back to this line because of how telling it is. You see, this man does not believe that women are actually people. They are not human beings with histories and goals and ideas. To him, women can’t offer friendship or help on a project or even a humorous joke. They are sexual objects (and sexual objects that apparently come with a lot of traps).

It’s hard to accept, but there is a segment of the population that believes that I am not a person, deserving of rights and respect and individual dignity. There are men who see me only as a hateable sex object.

And this is part of why feminism is so important to me, Dad. People still exist who think that women are not worth as much as men. And as more vocal supporters stand up for equality, it seems more virulent hatred comes from those who do not want things to change. (This man even talked about how lucky women had it in the 50s; you know, when they couldn’t pursue most careers and marital rape wasn’t recognized. It was obviously a swell time for women.)

I believe advocating for feminism is creating change for the better (just this week, Men’s Health South Africa agreed to purge itself of pick-up artist manipulation articles), and I will continue to stand up for my beliefs, because I am a person, and I deserve respect.

With hope,


4 thoughts on “A wild MGTOW appears!

  1. “There are men who see me only as a hateable sex object” is an exaggeration of what he said.

    I’ve known plenty of women that have been cruelly hurt and harassed by men. I try to have compassion for them when they paint all men with that brush and say things like “I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig.” Ohh, and that’s not from some random gynocentrist on the Internet, that’s from Andrea Dworkin’s book Ice and Fire.

    Yeah, when people are hurt by someone representing on group, they tend to have an irrational response against that group for awhile.

    The difference is that MGTOW is about the positive transformation of men’s anger in to constructive and creative outlets. This guy is just starting on that path, and is still venting. Gynocentrism encourages women to avoid responsibility, blame their problems on others and demand to be saved.

  2. its not about hate
    its about getting beyond the opinions of others, including yours..

    its about enjoying knowing they are leaving you with less choices; being a cat lady, or having a man you cant respect…

    all the mgtows want is their rightful place.
    and women in their rightful place, whatever that is…

    one thing ai have observed is women are power hungry and think they should control even what they are ignorant of…

    no logic required…

    • If it’s about getting beyond the opinions of others, including mine, why did this MGTOW cruise into my inbox to tell me how worthless and awful women are? If he really doesn’t want to hear my opinion or have anything to do with me, why approach me unsolicited to tell me his own opinions? If it’s about men having their own space, then why do MGTOWs keep flying into my space? Create your own! If it’s about men leaving women to go their own way, then what should it matter what happens to the women? Why do you need to believe we’ll end up lonely cat ladies or dating men you think are not respectable? If you really want to go your own way, then why are you in my inbox telling me about it? Just go.

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